Going Home

I thought about going straight home tonight. I didn't. I am not drunk but altogether I have to say that I am not disappointed with my decision. Come to thing of it's hard to concentrate. P's birthday was tonight and a few of my friends were meeting up to say "Congrats". I can't remember when I first met P but any excuse to have a drink right? (There is a Big P and a Little P and tonight was Little P's birthday. I suspect the difference has to do with their "size" but to be honest I am not sure.) Now after more drinks than I should have had on a Thursday night I am left with nothing but my thoughts and the urge to impress them on some unsuspecting reader (sorry that’s you). I have to say "Thank you" though because I have to admit to a case of writers block lately. Anyway.....has anyone seen this weeks Rosie article. Or the article of how "most" Americans think of "racial" issues but very few see themselves as apart of the problem. I am not saying that I am exempt but the article is just a lead in to what I want to talk about......
For the last few years, ever since I move to NYC proper, and after a night of drinking with friends I always tease that I will need some help hailing a cab (just in case I have not clarified I am of a different complexion than some). On the surface one can only argue that I say this to make my friends laugh but then watch as I repeatedly raise my hand in a (sometimes) futile attempt. But underneath I actually want someone to stay with me, as a distraction, so that I do not have to walk 3 blocks out of my way, into a heavily trafficked area, only to have wait 10 minutes for a cab. Or, in other cases, even to hail the cab while I wait to the side.
You might laugh at the thought of this. Hell, most times my friends do laugh because they can't believe in this age taxi's still do this. To them it is unbelievable. To me it is a reality. When I first met my girlfriend she doubted me. Most times over the past three years she has had to hail the cab while I stood to the side.
Then tonight in a "well to do" area of NYC, with me dressing as if I just came from work (dress shirt. dress pants, jacket), I, again, had several taxis pass me. Most of my friends would laugh. Hell I laughed at the situation. This way my friends still feel comfortable with me. But inside....I don't even know how to feel.
According to the following article only a few Americans see themselves as being racist. On a normal day they may see themselves as prudent business men, or just cautious. However there is such thing as an educated guess. I AM DRESS UP IN A DRESS SHIRT AND PANTS!!! Now that is not to say that I truly came from work but in certain areas it is a safe bet. The only way I got a cab tonight is (theoretically) because of an Asian couple. I was not anywhere near them when they hailed the cab for me but SEVERAL cabs passed me when it was just I. I got home at a decent time and gave the cabbie a tip more than what most would but I want him/them to remember that a person's image does not automatically equally a smaller tip or robbery.
I find myself tipping MORE than usual in certain situations because I am trying to portray a different" image. Am I wrong? Maybe. The fact is that no matter how many people I tip some are not going to change their mind. At all.