Everyday musings that may provide some explanation to AnotherWhen.com, a playground for personal ideas.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

No Excuse

In Junior High School I had this girlfriend who helped to open my eyes to the world. I remember going over to her house and having to sneak behind her mothers back. It was not that she didn’t know I was there, but I had to pretend that my friend was dating my girlfriend and that I was dating her friend. At that age there is nothing more fucked up than watching television while having your arms around your friends’ girlfriend while he is in the room. And the reason why was because her mother did not allow her daughter “dating” anyone who was not white. This would not be the last time this would happen but it is the first that I remember.

Growing up I had friends from all different backgrounds, listening to different music and eating new foods. This experience is why, more than anything, my parents moved “away from the black people” as my grandfather used to say. It opened my eyes to new things but the melting pot that I grew in made me blind to problems that did occur. Some parents did have a problem with certain kids because of their complexion but that never stopped the kids from hanging out. We were friends and did care that someone was dark or light. I used to think my generation was the best because everywhere you looked we were all mixed and it did not matter. Or at least I thought it didn’t until I got older. I would be lying if I said that the call from the ex-girlfriend shocked me.

We had just broken up a week before when the message came. I remember listening to it in my kitchen and hearing the words. “Nigger”. Or more appropriately “Dirty Nigger”. Mostly I just heard the word. That word. It was not the first time I had heard it. But it was the first time that I had heard it from someone my age. Traveling through the south as a child I heard it from older black and white men. With my family the word gets tossed around. As a policy I try not to use it. To me the word drags up images of things that young person should not have to imagine, read about, or contemplate. Listening to the message in my kitchen from someone I once harbored feelings for was upsetting. Realizing that my mother was the one who told me that there was a message for me was difficult. Watching her face as she told me what she thought of the message, eyes glistening with angry, was hard.

For me there is no excuse for lashing out at someone’s “color” just because you are upset with them. It shows a lack of depth on your part to sink to that level. “They are stupid because they are Polish”, “They are suspicious because they look Middle Eastern”, “They are good at math because they are Chinese”, “Who allowed them in here because they are black”.

I used to like Michael Richards and not only from Kramer but from even from the Transylvania 6-5000, and UHF days. Watching his Laugh Factory rant is hurtful because here is a guy that I used to laughed at now without is character. It was an actor playing a part on a stage or show. It was his real self that was shown on that stage. Rage will do that. I am not saying that he shouldn’t have said something to the hecklers but for what he said and how. If your are a comedian your come back should be better than shouting about how “we” would have hung someone upside down, or throw someone out because they are a n____.

Some people have said it is not that bad. Or that he pulled a John Kerry, a joke gone wrong so to speak. Others have said, “Rappers say it all the time” and that may be but it doesn’t make them right. It is bad. It was bad when Mel did his version. I feel that everyone’s a little bit racist and working with that you can build a better understanding outside of stereotypes. However, when something is said so vehemently then you know the underlying feeling is more than just a joke. Rappers, comedians, politicians have more than a lot of ground to make up in my eyes if they ever want me to take them seriously again.

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Toilet Humor

So I have been having this dream repeatedly this week and it is kind of disconcerting. I have an interpretation for it and that is the one I am sticking with for now….

I am riding on the subway. It is during the day because the train is full. I think it might be the 4, 5, 6 line but it really doesn’t matter. While riding, a very uncomfortable feeling beings to settle over my stomach. Kind of like when you have eaten too many baked beans or something. (You know what I am talking about.) Normally this would be a cause for some concern because no bathroom is near and people are surrounding me. But this train is equipped with a fully functional toilet as on of the seats. Now I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why the toilet is there or why it is facing a family from Iowa next to me. Like I mean I can count the pores on their noses. Nor is there any reason why I feel SO at home just taking a squat or the fact that no one on the train is thinking twice about this scene. However, even though they are at ease with me taking a shit on the train, in the middle of their commute, they become completely horrified by the act of me wiping. Mind you it is not with my hands or jacket or anything like that but with real (very soft) toilet paper. At this point the whole train car becomes plastered with fecal matter and I wake up. (WITHOUT CRAPPING MY BED if that is what you were thinking. Seriously, NO CRAP. Just the dream.)

Same dream for a couple of nights. Now my thinking of this dream is this. I am not afraid of making an ass of myself but I fear what other people think of my finished products. Simple interpretation right?

With that said I have made some updates to the site a few weeks ago. I don’t like the menu changes but I will leave it that way until this weekend. Hopefully I will get a chance to do something about it. Plus my girlfriend is helping me with the “Arts” page. I need to get her to teach how to do the things she does but we never get the time. I have been looking at some other blogs and web pages recently and I want to learn how to make sites like them. It is thoughts like this that holds up projects.


Wednesday, November 08, 2006

November 8th

Two years in the making but the time has arrived. I can feel the change in the air. Can you believe it? Britney and Kevin have finally divorced. This is such big news. She is going to do something good with her life now without him. After all he was holding her back.

Oh yeah there was some sort of election yesterday too.

The site has not been updated but I have scanned in some pics and they are in the process of being placed on the site. But not right now. I am off to work.