Recently I have been amazed at the things one can realize at 6 in the morning while sitting in front of your own house. After a night of drinking more than enough to achieve inebriation but less than you need to just go upstairs and pass out. You begin thinking, knowing nothing good can come of this, about your life, choices and suddenly it occurs to you: You have fucked up. Not in that “I need rehab” sort of way but in that “Life could be easier” way. That is the reason I started this blog right?
After waiting awhile I can put into words what has happened in the past few weeks. It has been about 5 weeks since I got back from vacation. Took me some time to write about my experience in
Funny how things can change so quickly but can't be corrected as fast. We have talked in the interim but nothing has been resolved. I find myself needing to prove to her, and myself, that I am worth it. The longer I wait I feel as though I am just going to end up in the “friendship zone”. And once you are there it is hard as hell to escape. (Looking back we should have been friends to begin with. Maybe that is one of the problems.)