Day 0: Jersey to Honolulu

3 and ½ days into my Hawaiian trip and I have yet to get lai’d. Bad joke I know. But for years I have seen movies and TV shows showing beautiful Hawaii where when getting off of the plane you are greeted with half naked natives throwing lais around your neck. WOW!! Now that I have said that aloud that is racist (and sexist) as hell.

So everything started out alright (me and moms this time). I forgot my jacket but who needs it. I am going to the Pacific. Home of the endless summer, bikini, tropical fruit and colorful flowers. I thought about giving in to a sweet cup from Starbucks but the first stop is….the bathroom.
That and you should see the line for a $3 cup of coffee.

We should have went before we left her house but its funny when you remember what you should have done on your way to the airport. Like bring a jacket. Damn its cold on an airplane.

Are you aware that it is almost 11 hours to get from Jersey to O’ahu? Longer when they over book a plane and have to ask people to get off. Why in the sam hill do flights get over booked? (Quick math….what happens, Z, when you have a plane that can fly Y distance, without refueling, with X amount of weight and W amount of gas? Now remember W decreases faster when X increases which will also shorten Y. I did the math and nothing good happens.) You should have to get a psych evaluation before you have to get on a plane for an extended length of time. Thank God for a 250 gig laptop with a handful of BVD’s (bootleg video discs). Uh, wait. I mean someone elses bootlegs and there willingness to share. Because I am a law abiding citizen….

Well we get to the island where the endless summer is supposed to be ideal. It’s 2 in the morning according to my watch but only 7 on the wall. It is raining and it’s night time. I can’t see a thing outside. So apparently I have gone back to the future (or the past) and wound up in a no baggage limbo…with a Starbucks. Welcome to Hawaii.

Note: As I am writing this on a ship with no/low connection speed I will have to upload the photos later.