After two months of waiting

Yesterday, while walking out of the court house I stopped and looked around. Sure I was in downtown Elizabeth, NJ but I noticed that the sky was especially bluer, the air sweet, and every color was clear and crisp (it also could have been that I was in one of the top 50 Greenest Towns in America according to Popular Science. Shocked? Me too I mean its still Jersey. But hey they had a banner up announcing it). Hell even the birds, animals, and people all seemed happy. They type of day you just want to thank God. Then I realize maybe its just me. This is the type of elation that is usually accompanied with the "All Clear" results of an STD test after waiting that agonizing two weeks. Except in this case its been a couple of months. Man this must have been what Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson felt like after their "Not Guilty" verdicts only I, you know, really didn't do it.

So my girlfriend joined me today. I tried to put on a brave front but she knows me better than I thought. She reassures me the whole ride and to be honest its better than nice having her there. With her I really begin to think that no one screwed up my test and I have a little faith in the system. The only problem is that it was the system that got me in this mess. I am now thinking of becoming an activist for a law change. She rolls her eyes. By this time she knows when I am about to get preachy.

This time around I am surprised to see that the hearing is set for after lunch. If you are going to be summoned to court it is best to make sure you know the time your scheduled to show. We have time for lunch and stop by a place called "Banging Bagels" which is a pretty accurate title for the lunch I ordered. (Highly recommend if you are ever on trail in Elizabeth. Order the Pastrami. You will not be disappointed.) Also for entertainment its great bar none. We listen to this one grungy looking, 30 something, tattooed man complaining on the phone to a judge's office about the next child support payment. My girlfriend wants me to take note because it was like looking into the future. Yeah its messed up to say but the real funny part was that he was making the call on behalf of his 60 something year old father next to him. It was his child support payment that was due. I made another stereotype and was proven wrong. At that moment this whole process of being summoned begins to look justified.

Anyway after waiting around for the afternoon my hearing is called. They allow her in for "moral support". That is what they refer to the visitor as. Moral Support. What the hell? I get sworn in and before I know it I am dismissed. Or as they say it "Dismissed on grounds of genetic testing shown to have proven no paternity". No celebration, no fan fare, no apology for months of "Fathers day" jokes from your friends (the lawyer from the Welfare office actually did apologize but it really wasn't on behalf of his office). Hell not even a handshake. They seriously could have mailed this to me. The judge did offer a little joke that the reason I got off was because of my "moral support". I guess that was his way of apologizing after being apart of a system that violated me. What the hell?

To this day I still have yet to find anyone else that this has happened to (I should clarify by saying "anyone else that is innocent"). I have missed two days of work for this. I don't even want to know what my mom or girlfriend were thinking. Although to be fair my girlfriend says ,even though the conception date was while we were together, she never doubted me. My mom her reaction was a little different but she also gave me the benefit of the doubt. I am not sure if I want her to clarify that but I think she sees her son as some sort of player after all. Either that or she is just setting the bar too low. Whatever nothing can bring me down. I am going to get a frame for the test results. Oh I guess, I didn't officially mention the results yet: Probability of Paternity = 0.00%. The kid is not my bastard.


I'm not convinced. I think you knocked up the girl but the reason why the tests were negative is that you have what's called "chimerism".
Michael Konrad said…
good to hear you're in the clear. it could have been a lot this: